Jokers Kid
by Roninarnia
Summary: The Diary of Jokers daughter Wendy. Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

**Batman belongs to its creator and My ocs belong to me.**

**Wendy Has long red hair and blue eyes. Rook's hair is really short and she has blue eyes Chucky looks like his Dad and he's about two.  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Hello my name is Wendy. After a book character. I'm 14 today.

And my Dad is The Joker. Yes you read that right The Joker.

Mom is Harley Quinn but I bet you guessed that bit (:

I have a twin named Rook and a younger brother named Chucky. Rook scares Dad witless mainly because she's crazier then him.

Today I got a gun from Dad. Wow Dad thanks I love guns (Sarcasm). Mom, Who knows me, Got a book about Psychiatry.

Chucky gave me a hug and Rook got me a notebook and cherry scented glitter pen. Same thing every year from her.

Anywho, Dad took me out for Ice Cream and killed our waitress for taking too long. Sigh.

I hope he kicks Me and Mom out again so we can live with Aunt Pamela. She's Nice. Weird but nice.

Like Batman. He comes over to take dad to Arkham sometimes and I talk to him a bit. Rook just hides when he comes around.

Rook says he's a creeper and that's why he has young boys as sidekicks. If she's right then Rook has nothing to be worried about because she's a girl.

Chucky seems to agree with Rook on this since he joins her. I swear I must be the only normal one here.

Gotta Go. I need to take Bud and Lou out for a walk.

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

I was doing my school at the table when Batman broke in today with his other Robin. How do I know its the other one? Because this one is a snot that's how.

Batman asked where Dad was and I told him Dad was at the bank making a withdrawal. Batman told his other Robin to stay here and 'watch me' Like I'm going anywhere. Uncle Straw-For-Brains wants my report in today or he'll test his new gas on me.

So, this new guy just sits there and stares at me while I do my Report on Fear. I think he was trying to psych me out. Wasn't working.

Rook walks in, sees this loser, and grins like a loon "Hey Wenders who's this guy? A new Boyfriend?"

I reply with as much patience I can muster "Its a Robin Dingbat. He's not my boyfriend."

"My name is Jason." He snapped.

Rook leaned on the table "So, Jason is Batman a Creeper?"

Ohhh boy.

"Creeper?" Jason inquired.

Rook's grin starts to look a lot like Dad's "Like a Pedo?"

Jason punched her and they went rolling on the ground. I finished my Report and beat some sense into them both with a broom handle. It would be temporary with Rook.

Jason rubbed his head "Ow that smarts!"

"Good! Now do your freakin job and watch me!" I sat down and started on math.

Rook ran off giggling and Jason sat back down in a huff.

A few minutes later Batman came back to collect Robin and to inform me that Dad was in Arkham.

I give it three months tops.

Wendy.

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><p><strong>Read and Review<strong>_.  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

**Batman belongs to its creator and My ocs belong to me.**

**Wendy Has long red hair and blue eyes. Rook's hair is really short and she has blue eyes Chucky looks like his Dad and he's about two.  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Mom is distraught because 'Puddin' went to Arkham without her.

Poor Mom. (Sarcasm)

Dad wouldn't go of his own free will anyway. Batman probably beat the snot out of him and then dragged him over to Arkham.

Probably.

Today I was walking Bud and Lou and they where doing there special 'Robin Growl' at the Todd guy an Ex-Street kid. Why would Todd be Robin? He's a snot and a pain the neck.

He just made faces at the mutts and laughed. I considered sicking them on him but decided against it.

I took them home and Aunt Pamela was over to help with Chucky while Mom went to Rob a grocery store.

Rook was telling her about Batman being a Pedo and Chucky was saying his first sentence: "Batman is Pedo!"

Poor Aunt Pamela was rubbing her forehead and trying to feed Chucky. I beat Rook up with the broom handle and Rook ran away giggling like she always does.

"Thanks Wendy." Aunt Pamela smiled at me "Hows school with Dr. Crane?"

I told her about my Report and my Maths quiz. She just nodded as she fed Chucky. Aunt Pamela is cool that way.

Mom got back and I changed Chucky while Mom and Aunt P put away the groceries.

Rook came back and told Mom her Inane theory Mom just nodded and said "That's nice."

I love Mom.

Wendy

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Dad's back.

He beat me up for telling Batman where he was and he beat Mom up for not helping him right off.

Rook went after him with a wooden bat. Dad broke it and Rook brought a metal one.

Poor Dad. (Evil Grin)

Later, Dad heard Chucky's first sentence. He laughed and took Chucky to the abandoned Playground.

Man, I hurt all over.

I went to Aunt P's house. She was really angry and took me inside. She treated my bruises and cuts with some kind of herbal cream and sent me back home.

Rook let me in and told me she did all my chores and walked the dogs. For a nutcase she can be a pretty good sister.

Mom kicked Rook out because she sent her 'Puddin' to traction.

I love Rook

Wendy

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	3. Chapter 3

**Batman belongs to its creator and My ocs belong to me.**

**Wendy Has long red hair and blue eyes. Rook's hair is really short and she has blue eyes Chucky looks like his Dad and he's about two.  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Batman swung by today to see Rook. I told him that Mom kicked Rook out and he should check at Aunt P's.

He thanked me and left. He wants to arrest Rook for stealing a diamond.

I said "Good Luck getting it back. Rook probably sold it already."

He just grunted and left. He told Jason to watch me again.

What does that man think I'm gonna do run away to Egypt while he arrests Rook/Mom/Dad? seriously I'm not going anywhere.

Jason just sat there while I washed dishes. He made obnoxious choking noises. I pointed a knife at him "Shut Up freak."

"Freak yourself." He retorted

"If I where a boy I'd whack you good!" I snapped

He smirked "Why don't you just beat me up with that Broomstick of yours witch?"

I happily obliged him.

Jason was rubbing his head looking angry "Ow! I was kidding!"

"Then don't say it!"

Right about then Dr. Crane came in "Child, I need you to..." He saw Jason and grinned "Oh hello Robin!"

The poor sap went into defensive mode "Scarecrow!"

" That's right Robin. Child hold him still so I can test this gas on him."

That seemed cruel and unusual even for a snot "Or what?"

"Or I'll test it on you."

I shivered. The idea of seeing giant spiders didn't appeal to me.

A few minutes later Jason was under the influence of fear gas and Dr. Creep was in his room writing out results.

I felt bad for him so I strapped him down until the gas wore off some.

Batman came back and looked at me when he saw Jason.

I smiled weakly "Scarecrow's my tutor."

He grunted and took Jason to the hospital.

Wonder what goes on in his head.

Wendy

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

1) Rook's in Prison.

2) Dad's well enough to come back home.

Mom's all happy and she baked Dad a Batman shaped cake. Dad ate a few bites which the Dr. Crane says is a good thing. That means he's going to live even after the brutal beating Rook gave him.

I visited Rook in Arkham. She told me her stupid theory...Again. Then she asked about school and tests. I told her about what happened yesterday. She got a good laugh out of that.

I told her about Dad and she nodded "He should be good as new by next month." I told her.

"Dang."

She's a lot saner then I've seen her since we where six. The Doctors explained to me that she has some kind of chemical imbalance that she inherited from dad. The Medicine controls it better then Aunt P's herbs do.

I got home and heard Mom and Dad swearing at each other. A few minutes later Mom, Bud, Lou, and I where on our way to Aunt P's.

Chucky stays with Dad when this Happens. Mom's afraid that Aunt P's Venus Flytrap will eat him.

Wouldn't surprise me. That thing hates kids.

Gotta go help Aunt P with dinner

Wendy

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><em>


	4. Chapter 4

**Batman belongs to its creator and My ocs belong to me.**

**Wendy Has long red hair and blue eyes. Rook's hair is really short and she has blue eyes Chucky looks like his Dad and he's about two.  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Aunt Pamela took me with her to a oil Plant. Her plan? Destroy it.

Like I said weird but nice. I never tell her she's weird because I will hear a lecture on 'Plants-are-helpless-they-need-a-defender' Which I don't really need to hear since I can recite that one backwards.

But anyway she covered the plant with her...Plants. I think I made a pun. Or Aunt P did.

It started getting bad cause she killed a couple of workers. So concerned about soulless plants she overlooks human life. Sad.

It was inevitable that Batman would try to stop Aunt P. (I'm being generous to the women by not pointing out he beats her every freakin time.)

Batman and Jason got the shock of their lives (As I did) When Aunt P sprung a death trap on them. It almost worked. O-:

Aunt P basically commanded her plants to catch them. Then She told her Little Shop Of Horror Flytrap to eat Jason while Batman watched. After Jason got eaten she would give Batman the kiss of death. Charming.

I felt bad for the poor saps so I decided to help. But in order for Mom and I to keep our room and board I needed to be sneaky.

I grabbed my Swiss army knife and climbed underneath the vines of LSOHF toward Jason.

Aunt Pamela was describing how LSOHF was going to digest him "Oxidative protein modification is likely to be a predigestive mechanism of the _Dionaea muscipula_. Aqueous leaf extracts have been found to..." Blah Blah Blah."Such oxidative modification could rupture animal cell membranes..." Blah Blah Blah. "Digestion takes about ten days." She can be worse then Dr. Crane.

Batman said "You Monster!" You just figured that out? Seriously?

I kept on going until I was right under Jason. I began sawing away. The way I figured The vines would remain like there was a body in it if I did this right.

I would put some steak in LSOHF Vines/Arms and he would eat that hopefully fooling Aunt P.

Hopefully.

I carried out my plan Jason looked surprised "Wha..? You!"

"Shh! Come On!" I placed the steak into LSOHF's Vines. A few minutes after Jason and I got clear, the freak of nature burped enjoying its steak dinner.

Aunt Pamela was fooled. Hehe."I've won Batman!"

"Noooo! Jason!"

Ugh! Melodrama!

"Say my name and I magically appear!" Jason jumped in front of Aunt P.

"Your Alive?" Aunt P looked shocked.

"No Aunt Pamela That's why he's right in front of you." I deadpanned.

Said Aunt glowered at me "Shaddup Kid."

After a lengthy and very entertaining fight Aunt P and I escaped. She was grouchy the whole way back.

Time for bed

Wendy.

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Aunt Pamela is displeased with Mom again.

Mom wanted to decorate the Table with some Bluebells so she instead of putting some in a pot- which would have been MUCH smarter By the way- She goes off and cuts them and places them in a pretty blue vase.

The result was a very angry Aunt P and Mom sleeping in the shed with Bud and Lou.

I'm up here on the Roof of the Greenhouse. Its a warm night so I'm sleeping up here.

Hold on somebody's coming.

It was Jason. O-:

He wanted to thank me for saving him. I told him it was no problem.

Jason seemed nervous. I thought He was probably afraid that Little Shop Of Horrors was coming for him.

Then he dropped something in my hand and ran off. Batman was standing nearby and seemed to be grinning.

After they left it turned out to be a plastic rose. How Sweet. At least Aunt Pam won't try to kill me for owning a cut rose.

Aunt Pam says lights out

Wendy

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	5. Chapter 5

**Batman belongs to its creator and My ocs belong to me.**

**Wendy Has long red hair and blue eyes. Rook's hair is really short and she has blue eyes Chucky looks like his Dad and he's about two.  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Mom decided we where going back home today. Joy.

We packed up. I hugged Aunt P and we left.

Dad gladly welcomed us back, since Rook had gotten out of jail and was terrorizing him constantly.

I almost feel sorry for the man. Almost being the key word.

Rook seems to be much saner. And a lot more dangerous since she can now think things through.

I'm a bit scared for Dad. Rook threw some sharpened playing cards and almost snuffed him right there.

I think I'll call Batman if this gets serious.

Wendy.

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Dad hired some Goons again. Boy are they dumb.

Two tried to touch Mom and Dad offed them. Then one tried to hit me and Rook offed that sap.

They have learned a fear of Rook. They try not to get caught by her.

Try being the key word since Rook's in charge of the Video screens.

I've been in Dr. Cranes room all day doing school. The Goons are freaked out about him so they won't try to beat me when I insult them from inside.

Although they will swear at me and Chucky will gleefully repeat every word. Then Dad will kill swearing offenders.

I think I'll go live with Aunt Pam until this Job is over.

It gets too crazy.

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><p>Here I am at Aunt Pam's.<p>

Its nice and quiet here. No yelling, no screaming, no cussing...

Yup, this is the good life right here.

Aunt P is going to Rob a store. Dr. Crane came with me so he's staying here.

I'm hiding from him. He wants to test his new gas.

Again.

I love my family. (Dr. Crane included.) (: Yeppers

Wendy

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	6. Chapter 6

**Batman belongs to its creator and My ocs belong to me.**

**Wendy Has long red hair and blue eyes. Rook's hair is really short and she has blue eyes Chucky looks like his Dad and he's about two.  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Dad needed my help on a job. I'm beginning to understand why he 'Needs' me and even why he wanted kids in the first place.

One word for you: Leverage.

He held a gun to my head and the tellers handed the money over. Then we went back home. I think the Goons felt bad for me. One offered me his beer.

I declined.

Later, I sat at the Table doing yet another report on fear. This time on Hydrophobia.

I'm beginning to see a theme in school. For instance a word problem on my test: _If Jeffy screams for 10 minutes and Taffy screams for 19 then how long did they both scream all together?_

Screaming +reports on Fear=Raving psycho.

Dad is not good at helping with homework. He either gets frustrated and destroys it or laughs manically for hours at my typos.

Ugh.

Mom is a little better. But she really stinks at history. I just do that by myself.

Batman's back. He's just checking to see if I'm okay. Told him I was fine and he left Robin here while he went to arrest Dad.

Not going anywhere no need to leave Jason here with me.

Jason just watched me do my homework. He asked "Whats with you?"

"Hmmm?" I replied

"Your Dad just threatened your life two hours ago and instead of adopting yourself out you stay here and do your homework?"

"Yes. Why is that a PROBLEM?"

Rook limped in "Hide the kids. Its Jason."

Jason just looked at Rook weird "Uh...Hello I think."

Rook leaned forward "Is Batman a creeper?"

Batman had come back and was doing the bat stare at Rook "Creeper?"

Rook pointed "Yup. Right there."

Batman dove for her and Rook ran off and hid behind some boxes.

Needless to say they left after Batman gave up on finding Rook.

Wendy

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

I flunked my report. I drew a picture of Robin on the back and Scarecrow tested his gas in exchange for not telling Dad I drew Robin.

So for two hours everybody was a giant Tarantula.

After Mom hit me over the head a few times with a crowbar and the gas wore off I recovered.

Really ticked at Rook right now. She's been making up all kinds of dumb theories on Batman since she ran out of her meds.

Here are the top five.

1) Batman being a Pedo.

2) Jason loving me. *Blush*

3) Batman being a father of 100 kids.

4) Aunt Ivy having her nine totally different looking daughters with Batman.

5) Jason being an Android.

Its been fun lately *Rolls eyes*

Wendy

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	7. Chapter 7

**Batman belongs to its creator and My ocs belong to me.**

**Wendy Has long red hair and blue eyes. Rook's hair is really short and she has blue eyes Chucky looks like his Dad and he's about two.  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Today Dad decided we needed to have a family day. So we went to rob a jewelry store.

Did it work? No, Because Batman was at the store checking out a robbery that happened EARLIER.

Oh Dad.

Well, Mom and Dad are in Arkham and Chucky's in foster. Rook and I got away.

We went to Aunt Pam's with Bud and Lou. Aunt Pam let us in being the cool person she is.

By the way I found out that the Flytrap's name is not Little Shop Of Horrors. Its name is Mel.

Mel? Seriously? That's not even scary! Look out for Mel! Does that scare you diary? I didn't think so.

Why not Man-eater or Fang or DeathTrap?

Aunt Pam's weird but nice.

Wendy

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

I was out walking the Hyenas when Batman and Robin came after me to take me to Foster.

I sicked Bud and Lou on Batman but Robin kept coming.

Do you know that throwing bricks at Jason is ineffective? It is Diary.

He just dodged and kept chasing me. Jerk. He could have had the decency to at least get grazed.

I fell into the sewer where Killer Croc lives. I landed on his head.

We stared at each other. I flashed him a grin "Um...Hi! Is this the Post Office?"

He opened his mouth "Food."

I looked around "Where?"

He picked me up "Here."

"I don't taste good! I'll clog up your arteries!" I shrieked.

Killer Croc laughed humorlessly. It was a horrid cold sound "Girl Skinny."

"HELP!" I began swinging around and kicking blindly "KILLERCROC'SGONNAEATME!"

Something jumped on Killer Croc's head and stabbed him. Killer Croc screamed "AHHHH!"

He dropped me and I climbed out as fast as I could and started running as soon as I got out.

Jason joined me "Run, Run, Run, Run, RUN!"

"No problem!"

Killer Croc was right behind us "STOP RUNNING SO I CAN KILL KIDS!"

Did we stop? Nope because we wanted to live.

Batman had subdued Bud and Lou. He leaped over us and dove into Killer Croc.

I grabbed Bud and Lou's leashes "Love to stay and chat Jay but your Dad needs help."

Jason opened his mouth, looked at Batman, Closed it, and went to help.

After I got back to Aunt Pam's she fussed over me and my nine cousins where all talking at once.

Rook just stood there and waited until they calmed down. Then she walked up and cuffed me "Idiot. You scared us."

"Sorry."

Rook has a funny way of showing she cares.

Aunt Pam says lights out.

Wendy.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Batman belongs to its creator and My ocs belong to me.**

**Wendy Has long red hair and blue eyes. Rook's hair is really short and she has blue eyes Chucky looks like his Dad and he's about two.  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Today Rook told me some more theories. Joy.

Here they are:

1) Batman is a genetic experiment gone wild.

2) So is Robin.

3) The Batmobile is a WWII spy car.

4) Batman is married to Catwomen.

5) Catgirl is Batman's wayward child.

I think I will go and ask Aunt Pam if any of her plants can help with Mental Imbalance.

Wendy

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

One of my cousins Rose and I went to the Mall today. Aunt Pam came along dressed in civilian clothes.

I saw that Todd Kid again while in the bookstore. He was with Alfred, The guy who answers the Phone when I call to tell Batman Dad needs prison.

"Hello Snot." Todd just waved and continued looking at the Comics.

I talked to Alfred for a bit before going to the checkout counter. Apparently Bruce Wayne is in the hospital because he crashed his bike.

The rest of the day was uneventful. After we got home we found Rook beating Mel up with a wrench and Dr. Crane screaming his head off.

He had come to check my homework and broke in through the Greenhouse.

Mel does not appreciate intruders. (:

Wendy

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	9. Chapter 9

**Batman belongs to its creator and My ocs belong to me.**

**Wendy Has long red hair and blue eyes. Rook's hair is really short and she has blue eyes Chucky looks like his Dad and he's about two.**

**Rags is lanky with grimy blond hair.  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Dad's out of prison and Rook is back home. Moms out too.

Not me though. I got beat up and thrown out. Missed you too Dad.

Aunt Pam's in Arkham with Uncle Crane so I'm on my own.

I decided to go see Rags.

Rags is this lady. She's in her late 20s or early 30s dunno which.

People call her Rags cause she dresses in old clothes. Her hair is hacked off short and She has one brown eye and one green.

Rags lives in an abandoned Motel. She's rich but for whatever reason prefers to live there.

No one really knows why she does anything. Rags is a bit funny in her head.

Anywho, Rags let me in when she saw me. She cleaned me up "Your Dad do that lass?"

"Yeah." I replied.

Her lips went into a thin line and she began to rant "That bloomin coward beating on his own danged kid... If I had a bazooka I'd clear em off this planet!"

I just nodded "Yes Ma'am."

"And then I'd bring em back to life and do it slow!" She continued.

"Yes Ma'am."

"And then I'll..." The kettle whistles from the kitchen "Tea's on!" Rags jumped up and ran out to make a couple of cups.

Rags is very ADD.

"Ows Rook?" She asked

"Doing well. She has some theory's on Batman." I explained.

Rags got this weird smile on her face and she turned her head clockwise. She has superpowers and uses them to

A) Make a point .

Or

B) Freak you out.

Rags said "I has a theory too Lass. Wanna hear it?"

She'd tell me anyway "Sure."

Her head darted back around and Rags leaned in close "Batman is Bruce Wayne And Robin is Master Todd."

I stared at her then felt her forehead "Do you need some of Rooks Meds?"

"Wot? No!" Rags appeared indigent.

"What makes you think Batman is Bruce Wayne?" I demanded "Or that the snot is Robin?"

"Jes do. Come on then. Suppers about ready."

See what I mean

Strange in the head= Crazy all the way.

Wendy.

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><p>Dear Diary<p>

Rags went out to work at the Crayon Factory so I was left by myself.

Guess What? Batman and Robin came to take me to Foster.

I told them Rags lived here and she was taking care of me.

They had no idea who Rags was. Never heard of her.

See? You get so involved with the criminals you don't get to know the people who really matter.

I called Rags and She came over.

She assured Batman that she was taking good care of me and I was "Eatin good Tuck."

He left Jason with us. Batman will be back to pick him up and ask Jason about his stay. If Jason gave a good report this is where I would live. If not off to the children's home.

Joy.

Wendy

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